Remember when Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet came out and everyone said it was bad? Back in 1996, no one was cool with this “Shakespeare at a rave” interpretation of the Bard, what with all the sparkling costumes and skull and cross imagery. No one was cool with it, except perhaps, a young Ed Hardy. Everyone called it trashy—but finally enough time has passed that we can all admit how brilliant Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet was. Unless we’re counting Growing Pains, no recorded footage has ever made Leo DiCaprio look so damn good. Mm! And no female viewer, tween or cougar-aged, has been less threatened than by the soft and sweet so-called Claire Danes. Plus they both die in the end so there’s really no need to be jealous of her.
Wednesday’s SummerScreen will feature Romeo + Juliet, so please, come watch, eat, drink, or just take the opportunity to pick up a vulnerable female. Gates open at 6pm for you to lay out your blanket, grab a Sixpoint beer, and whip out the sparknotes.