If you haven’t already checked out Anis Shivani’s marvelously bitchy HuffPo list of contemporary American writers he hates (1,700 comments!), well, then you should. It’s mean and funny and largely true (I agree with almost all his selections, so maybe it’s not exactly daring). My take on his choices after the jump.
Of the writers on his list, I haven’t read the following (largely because they’ve always seemed like middle-brow hacks who sell books to Sunday readers), so I won’t address their inclusion on the list: Amy Tan, Mary Oliver, Helen Vendler, Atonya Nelson and Junot Diaz.
Also, where the hell is Paul Auster? Pussy.
William T. Vollman
Shivani says: Encapsulates ethical vacuity of American fiction after the collapse of 1970s postmodernism. Any moral meaning is buried in indigestible compendiums of graceless sentences.
I say: I kind of liked one of those books he wrote about autochthonous North Americans, but I’ve gotten bogged down in just about everything else…
Shivani says: Displays sophomoric lust to encode postmodern alienation into form that embodies the supposed chaos of the mind.
I say: Poets writing for other poets to the Nth degree (and I used to write poetry!)
Shivani says: Infantilization packaged in pseudo-confession is her specialty.
I say: This one I disagree with. Even the sample sentence Shivani provides (as evidence of his victims failings) I quite like.
Shivani says: Would have spared the poetry world a lot of misery if she’d been able to get a job as a deconstructionist in the literature department—her actual skill.
I say: Poets writing for theorists to the Nth degree.
Jonathan Safran Foer
Shivani says: Debuted with harmless multiculturalism for the perennially bored in Everything Is Illuminated.
I say: I’ve actually come to truly disrespect the intelligence of former friends who recommended this book.
Shivani says: Never a good sign when the movie based on a writer’s only novel (The Namesake) is better than the book.
I say: Seriously, who wants to read a bloodless movie treatment over 300 pages long?
Shivani says: Utterly humorless—a characteristic common to the other mediocrities on this list.
I say: What he just wants to say is “boooring.”
Shivani says: Proves the point that to be successful as a fiction writer today, all you have to do is create facile pastiche assemblages.
I say: Speaking of movie treatments, you could just see Meryl Streep going over her lines on each of these daintily wrought book of the month club pages.
Shivani says: Imagines he is a container for childlike wonder, but actually exemplifies childish incomprehension.
I say: Though I did love his work in His Majesty, Mr. Brown.
Shivani says: Simply the worst book critic on the planet.
I say: Oh Mickey, you’re so mean.