Queens Man Jimmy Wang Arrested for Counterfeiting Condoms. Yes, Jimmy Wang.

08/12/2010 12:23 PM |

cartoon condoms
  • “Where’s Jimmy’s Wang?”

Every now and then the God of headlines smiles down upon us and commands a man named Jimmy Wang to counterfeit condoms (basically, he was moving fake Trojans). And while the predictably bloodless Wall Street Journal chose to do nothing with this rare gift, we here at The L Mag are not beyond such things… Here then, are our suggestions for possible “Jimmy Wang, condom counterfeiter,” headlines:

Jimmy Takes Wang Turn in Condom Caper
Wang Uncovered in Condom Bust
Wang Scare in Condom Ring
Fake Jimmy Hats Has Wang Busted
Condom Scheme Bursts As Wang Goes Down
Jimmy Wang Gets Hard Time
Wang’s Going Down in Fake Condom Flap
Wang’s Ring Not Tight Enough in Condom Scheme
Dicks Bust Wang in Condom Racket
Wang-nut Busted!
Get Your Wang Out of Jimmy’s Weak Wang Sheaths
Jimmy Puts the “Wang” in “Defective Wang Shields”
Jimmy Wanked the Wrong Wang
Wang’s Fake Jimmy Hats Get Busted
Ersatz Cock Cover Ring in Queens!
Jimmy’s Wang Hats Are Fake!
Hardened Rubber Wack Jimmy Wang to be Handed Stiff Sentence
Jimmy Wang Now Jimmied Set to Jury-Rig Ribbed Jury
Like Little Trojan Horses for Your Sperm!
Wang Realizes Name is Euphemism for Penis, Confesses

[For the love of God please keep this going in the comments.]