Everyone is totally bedbug crazy. Those who’ve been infested will tell you it’s for good reason, those who haven’t think it’s all a bit much—either way, there’s a new weapon in the MOST IMPORTANT WAR MANKIND HAS EVER FOUGHT. Yes, the latest breakthrough in TOTAL BEDBUG ANNIHILATION is the sniffer dog, a fearsome dog/machine hybrid that can smell the tiny pest from a thousand yards away and destroy it with eye-lasers (though it’s already too late for the Empire State Building, and the Magic Johnson AMC movie theater).
Ok, I’m exaggerating. As entomologist Philip Koehler told the Wall Street Journal: “It’s not quite as easy as what everything thinks.” Mr. Koehler obviously hates America and wants the terror bugs to win.