In the third graf (and these are New York Post-sized grafs, it’s like the equivalent of the second sentence of a Times article) of today’s New York Post “exclusive” about a city teacher busted for trying to sell guns to undercovers he thought were from Hamas and Hezbollah, we learn that “Theophilus Burroughs wet his pants when he was slapped with cuffs… The seats on a van waiting to transport him to the 49th Precinct had to be lined with plastic.”
The NYPD loves leaking (sorry) information about the weak bladders of dangerous criminals to the Post.
In February of 2005, when police arrested the teenage triggerman in the sensational Lower East Side murder of Nicole duFresne, Post revealed (exclusively?) that “the teen punk… crybaby… ‘was whining like a little girl,'” according to a “scoff[ing]” law enforcement source. The next day’s Post, as the Voice‘s Jarrett Murphy noted at the time, giddily revealed that the perp “soiled his pants during a 2001 confrontation with police”.
You see, the Post is telling us, these dangerous teenage black muggers, and international Islamic terrorists—there’s no need to be scared of them. They’re just a bunch of pissypants.
It’s like the first episode of South Park to air after 9/11 revealing that Osama bin Laden attacked the World Trade Center because he was angry about his tiny penis. Yup, the cops and Post readers and grieving Americans sure are the big swinging dicks around here.