When I first heard that somebody had broken into BARC, the stalwart Williamsburg animal shelter, and stolen a dog, I thought: “Wow, that’s really weird, because you can just, like, adopt dogs from the shelter and everyone is happy.” But then I found out that the dog in question was Edith, a 12-year-old longhaired chihuahua and long-term companion of Archie, who is now all alone at BARC (and apparently very depressed). So then I was sad. And now I’m fucking pissed. Yo, dog-thief, if you are reading this, if we catch you with Edith, we will beat your ass.
And to everyone else in Williamsburg (or anywhere in Brooklyn), if you see someone walking a slightly frail, nine-pound, tan-and-white longhaired chihuahua please, oh, I don’t know, do whatever seems appropriate given the relative scariness of the walker. But definitely call BARC at 718-486-7489.
WE CAN’T HAVE A SAD ARCHIE ALL ALONE, PEOPLE.