A year and a half ago I was pretty delighted, if a bit surprised, to report that David Cronenberg would be directing a film adaptation of Don DeLillo’s underrated post-9/11, pre-financial crisis novel Cosmopolis. The film, which finally begins shooting this March, was set to star Colin Farrell, the greatest actor of his generation, as Eric Parker, a hotshot money manager in need of a haircut; Farrell has dropped out due to scheduling conflicts, and has been replaced by sexy vampire Robert Pattinson, who seems appropriately autistic, anyway.
Marion Cotillard is still playing Eric’s wife, who is not the woman to whom he says “I want to bottle-fuck you slowly with my sunglasses on” while a doctor has a finger up his ass. (And people wonder what drew Cronenberg to the material.) Since this is a David Cronenberg movie, it’s also likely that we will get to see Robert Pattinson get shot with a stun gun, a scene left ambiguous in the book. (This may be the movie to revive Don DeLillo’s reputation as a comic novelist.) Anyway.