Natalie Portman, This Song’s for You

02/28/2011 4:03 PM |

I wanted to be you, Natalie, when I first saw you in Where the Heart Is and then heard power-pop underdogs Ozma sing this song in your honor when they opened for Weezer in 2002, and I wanted to be you last night, Natalie, when you waddled onstage and cried while thanking your make-up artist for making you look like a scary ballerina and your parents for giving you life. You were a vision in tasteful fuchsia and dangly earrings.