The Park Slope Bank Robber has, like many a Park Sloper before him, left the neighborhood. Though two Slope branches of the bank remain un-held up during this recent crime wave—which police have declined to connect (though, c’mon, obvs)—the robber moved on to a Chase in Crown Heights. A thirtysomething male entered the branch on Eastern Parkway and Bedford Avenue on Tuesday afternoon, the Prospect Heights Patch reported, handing the teller a note demanding money, which the teller gave him! (His two previous robberies, of branches on Fifth and Seventh avenues, were actually only attempted.)
Though surely terrorizing unfortunate bank employees, the criminal has become a
local personal hero for sticking it to the awful conglomerate, whose new rules have left me paying a fee for having a checking account before I can switch to a new bank (which is what I should have done for moral reasons a long time ago but which is, ugh, really inconvenient). What was it, bandit, that pushed you to the other side of the park? Rising rents? Too many strollers? Long lines at La Bagel Delight? Changing up your MO to keep the coppers off your trail? Whatever it was, your neighbors can relate!