Sex is So Over

04/18/2011 2:10 PM |

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  • Courtesy the Atlantic

Uh oh everybody, put it back in your pants because wanting to have sex is totally NOT COOL anymore. Yesterday the Atlantic (really? really!) rounded up three oh-yawn-I’m-over-doing-it stories in Everyone’s Bored of Sex. We’ve got Meg Wolitzer’s Styles section thing about how ladies over 30 don’t want to bone, Davy Rothbart’s odd-to-creepy thing from New York a while back about how dudes who beat off to porn too much can’t get it hard for a real person with all her physical flaws and annoying desire to be pleasured also, and Nate Freeman’s Observer piece about how the kids today are too busy with their coke and Facebook to want to screw each other.

Each of these could easily be picked apart for lack of evidence—they are all that kind of first person-ish “me and my friends all do this thing so clearly it is universal” anecdata journalism the Times culture pages are sort of famous for. It seems like just yesterday we were being bludgeoned with cougar stories, and the rapacious sexual appetites of women 35 plus was a total given.

In fact, it’s kind of hilarious that while we’ve over here wringing our hands about how today’s youth aren’t having enough sex and porn is robbing our men of their boners, the abstinence folks are freaking out about just how MUCH sex the kids are having and how porn turns men into horny, perverted monsters.

It’s almost like everybody everywhere has a lot of anxiety around what kind of sex they’re having and when and why and how much? And whether they’re enjoying it not enough or too much? Like there’s some kind of conflicting cultural messages about sex and expectations and gender roles and virility? And how if people were given more space to have the kind of sex they want in the quantity that feels right to them, they might be more fulfilled overall, whatever that amount and kind turns out to be? But I guess that would make boring trend piece.

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