Have you guys heard of these things called vibrators? That you can use to masturbate with? No? Then read this informative article from the Times. It’s news because you can buy them at Duane Reade now, I guess? Here is my favorite part:
They were rarely discussed, other than perhaps during a late-night girl-talk session fueled by many glasses of pinot grigio.
Ladies and their wine, am I right? Gurl, do you ever use anything for your, you know, (whispers) down there? (smiles shyly, sips wine).
I think my second favorite part is here:
But it wasn’t until an episode of HBO’s “Sex and the City” —called “The Turtle and the Hare,” featuring an actual device called the Rabbit Pearl — that the vibrator truly emerged from the nightstand drawer.
“ ‘Sex and the City’ did as much for women’s sexual comfort as really anything has done in the past couple of decades,” said Dr. Laura Berman of “In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman,” on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network.
Sex and the City! Oprah! If only there were some way this article could talk about shoes, then we could all die and go to pink heaven. To be fair, there are some rad quotes from a Good Vibrations sexologist and Rachel Venning, founder of Babeland. I mean, look, I’m not complaining that vibes are getting some ink in a major paper, that’s great, even if the hook is a little odd. Did people not realize that those “personal massagers” that are sold, oh, everywhere are actually vibrators? But compare it to an article in the Wall Street Journal yesterday (subscriber only, though, sorry!) about new boner-enhancing condoms:
A new erection-enhancing condom product, dubbed “Viagra for condoms,” is nearing regulatory approval and could be on sale in Europe by the end of the year.
Analysts say the condoms, which contain a gel that helps men maintain a firmer erection for a longer time, could have a significant impact on the condom market, where innovation is rare and patent-protected inventions are infrequent.
Notice the complete lack of coy giggling and “Sex and the City” references? I get that it could very well be a style difference between the two publications but still, give me a break. We can talk about dude sex stuff with a straight face but when it comes to lady orgasms, it’s all pinot grigio and this sort of condescending “aren’t these women brave to talk so openly about such a private subject” nonsense. Anyway, whatever, maybe it’s just me. I can be such a Miranda sometimes, right?
Go ahead and follow me on twitter if you want. I won’t be a dick about it.