Kids and Porn: Let’s Leave the Library Out of This, OK?

05/09/2011 12:51 PM |

Keep your eyeballs on your own screen, perv!
  • uproxx
  • Keep your eyeballs on your own screen, perv!

Bros, can we stop freaking out about porn in the library, please? I know that it is basically the Post’s entire job to freak out about dumb shit but for real.

Kids don’t have to hide dirty magazines under their mattresses anymore — they can just go to the library.
Children 13 and older can easily access hard-core porn in the city’s public libraries by simply claiming to be of age on the software and clicking off the filters that block XXX-rated content. And library patrons say it happens all the time.

Do you know where else kids even younger than 13 can “access hard-core porn”? On any computer ever anywhere that is connected to the internet. Or on iPhones or Droids or any kind of internet-enabled phone. Literally every single place.

“She [a librarian] comes over and tells them to stop watching it, but once she leaves, they just go right back to watching it,” he said.

Has anyone even MET a thirteen-year-old? This is basically what being thirteen is. Someone tells you to knock it off, then they leave, then you continue doing what you were doing. Leaving aside the hand-wringing about our children and how the internet robs them of their precious innocence (am I the only one who had cousins whose dad had Hustlers around?) it’s just 100% butt-ass ridiculous that people are trying to make this about libraries.

“There’s a big difference between exercising your ‘freedom of speech’ at home and exercising it in a public place such as a library, where you’re surrounded by other people — including children,” said Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro, who is threatening to cut taxpayer funding of libraries.

Seriously? Seriously. Because you know who has too much money? Libraries! And because if the library closed, clearly these porn watching people would go outside and do something wholesome. Doy. If only there weren’t libraries, our children would never, ever see a naked person until their wedding night. This is kind of adorable, though:

Julio, who likes to play video games on the computers, says porn watchers should be booted.”They shouldn’t be allowed to watch it,” he said. “You don’t know if a minor like myself could be walking by.”

Um, Julio? LIBRARIES ARE NOT FOR PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN EITHER. You know, if we’re being picky about what the computers are there for. Kids these days!

Next time you get a turn on the library computer, follow me on twitter! Julio will thank you.