Prospect Park Goslings Hatch Despite Barbaric Efforts to Stop Them

05/12/2011 8:58 AM |

Goose heroes
  • Goose heroes

Because gassing geese en masse is so obviously fucking terrible, people seem to think that non-gassing measures used to control the species’ population are totally fine. They’re not—the Times calls them “more humane,” but why not “less barbaric”? Or, “stupider”?

One method the city uses is hiring a border collie, who chases the geese and scares them into leaving. The Times reports:

But when the geese leave Prospect Park, where do they go?

“Someplace else,” [the head of Prospect Park] said.

They often head to the nearby Green-Wood Cemetery. Ken Taylor, a cemetery official, said two kites that look like eagles were used there to chase the geese away — and back to Prospect Park.

The park’s Plan B is coating goose eggs with corn oil, which, according to another Times piece, “suffocate[s] anything incubating within.” I’m sure that mother geese also totally don’t mind that their eggs just never hatch, like a pregnant human woman would be fine if she just never gave birth.

So, suck on this, barbarians! Four goslings hatched from oiled eggs last weekend. “Apparently like any birth control,” a spokesman for the park told the paper, “it don’t always work.”

Plan C? Secret gassing, we imagine, although current practices have kept the goose population way lower—estimates range from two dozen to 40-50—than it was last year when the killing began.