Coldplay’s New Single is Streaming, And So Are Chris Martin’s Tears

06/03/2011 2:00 PM |

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Sometimes things with stupid names are not as bad as they seem. Sometimes things with stupid names are great, despite their stupid names. And one should never judge a book, a song or a person by its stupid name because that would be narrow-minded and callous, right? Wrong. Well, wrong for today. Coldplay’s new single, “Every Tear is a Waterfall” is streaming from the band’s website, and it is precisely as shmaltzy and terrible as it sounds.

The lyrics speak for themselves. From them, and what we can gather, this is how it came about: Chris Martin was sitting in his darkened apartment, listening to his records and crying. Then he decided to write a song about the experience. And that is how “Every Tear is a Waterfall” happened.

How can this have passed through the hands of the band, the record label, the industry execs without someone going, “Uh, what?” And who decided this was good? Because if it was wifey and (apparently) now-country-singer Gwyneth Paltrow, that would be cause for real tears.

Coldplay has had some good songs with artistic integrity. They have. And great, transformative, era-making music has come out of musicians’ “blue” periods (i.e. Joni Mitchell, Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, the list goes on). This is not one of those. Words fail. Listen for yourself.