Are You a Minor Looking to Get Drunk? Get Thee to The Bronx!

08/22/2011 4:05 PM |

Suspected underage drinkers minutes after purchasing alcohol at a Bronx bodega.
  • Suspected underage drinkers minutes after purchasing alcohol at a Bronx bodega.

When you find out Joey’s got the place to himself all weekend because his parents are out of town, you know a sick party is on the way. Since you’re only 16, and won’t turn 17 until never, you hop the D to the Bronx because you heard the State Liquor Authority said the borough’s bodegas were busted the most for selling alcohol to underage drinkers. Cool, bro.

The best part of this NY1 story isn’t that Bronx bodegas had a citation rate of 79 percent, or that Queens bodegas, for lord knows what reason, only got busted 28 percent of the time underage decoys were sent to try to buy alcohol. And it’s not even that something called the “Bodega Association of the U.S.” exists.

Of the 42 seconds of NY1’s story, 37 consist of wobbly close-ups of Joose, Four Loko, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade behind glass. There are no classic action shots of befuddled people opening doors, cash registers sliding open, or even an ambiguous exterior shot. Just those fruity, kid-friendly, coma-inducing beverages, shown again and again and again.

Stay tuned for NY1’s upcoming story on cool things to do in Prospect Park, which will feature 36 seconds of still footage of especially brown tree bark.