As those of you who follow redhead news have probably heard, Cryos, the world’s biggest sperm bank, is no longer accepting jism from the redheaded gentlemen of the world. I can’t help but take this a bit personally.
Ole Schou, Cryos’s director, said that there had been a surge in donations in recent years, allowing the facility to become much more picky about its donors.
“There are too many redheads in relation to demand,” he told told Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet. “I do not think you chose a redhead, unless the partner – for example, the sterile male – has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that’s perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case.”
This will not stand. I mean seriously, we’re already going extinct, if anything, Ole should be slipping some ginger sperm to brunette sperm orderers just to help us buoy our numbers a little bit. Now it’s true there is some extra-genetic post facto redhead making going on, but I would still urge all you lesbian couples, single moms, and guys shooting blanks to consider asking Cryos for some of that sweet, sweet redhead sperm. I have a lot of arguments why, but I think you really only need one: