How Will the Brooklyn Nets Net Brooklyn Hipsters?

10/06/2011 10:37 AM |

How will they get hipsters in there?
  • How will they get hipsters in there?

This week, with the possible cancellation of the entire NBA season looming, ESPN compensates for lack of conventional basketball coverage with a sporadically funny brainstorming session imagining ways that the Atlantic Yards-bound (Marty Markowitz-announced?) Brooklyn Nets might court hipsters, “Brooklyn’s largest demographic.”

All ESPN’s suggestions take the form of phone pole tear-away flyers, and though most are unfunny—like jokes about beards and obscure musical tastes—a couple hit the mark, like…

Fuckin unicycles. (We do hope theyll have bicycle parking though.)
  • Fuckin’ unicycles. (We do hope they’ll have bicycle parking though.)

Locally grown organic veggies at the concession stands would be really great.
  • Locally grown organic veggies at the concession stands would be really great.

There’s also a fake flyer with a picture of Steve Nash wearing a fedora, promising to acquire the Canadian MVP in a trade. Is it his hat or his presumed ancestry of bearded, flannel-wearing Canadian lumberjacks that’s supposed to make him appealing to the hipster demographic? Either way, ESPN’s worst idea for the Nets’ hipster-courting campaign is this joke about playing ironically, which would only be funny if the team’s last winning season hadn’t happened half a decade ago.

That explains why they never win.
  • That explains why they never win.

(Gothamist)