Ruining Halloween: Your Candy is Made by Child Slaves

10/18/2011 12:58 PM |

Yes, I am trying to take this away from you.

  • Yes, I am trying to take this away from you.

I am getting pretty good at ruining other people’s good times. I don’t do it on purpose. I just somehow find out all the shitty parts of things and feel compelled to share. Ever since my neighbor put up their giant inflatable ghost ship filled with skeletons and my other neighbor put up their handmade tombstones with the names of recently-deceased celebrities on them and my other other neighbor installed the bat on the wire that zooms down to scare trick-or-treaters, I’ve been thinking about what to do for Halloween.

And this year, instead of just feeling bad about racist and offensive Halloween costumes (note to white people: blackface is still not cool, even on Halloween), I have to share with you this mega-downer: your fun-sized candy bars were almost definitely made by child slaves.

A report from the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture on cocoa farms in the Ivory Coast and other African countries estimated there were 284,000 children working on cocoa farms in hazardous conditions. Many of them have been taken from their families and sold as servants. U.S. chocolate manufacturers have claimed they are not responsible for the conditions on cocoa plantations, since they don’t own them. This group includes Hershey, Mars, Nestle, and the U.S. division of Cadbury. Collectively, they are responsible for pretty much every snack-size candy bar available in stores this Halloween.

Ugh, you guys, we cannot keep buying this candy. I know! People love candy! But how can you walk around look at the cute little Brooklyn kids in their flammable Disney princess get-ups and not think about those other kids working as chocolate slaves?

Here, Good has some suggestions for candy that won’t make your heart hurt to buy. Yes, of course it is more expensive and no, they don’t sell it in big bags at Costco. I told you, I’m a ruiner.