SPIN Gets a 13-Year-Old to Review Z100’s Jingle Ball, She Leaves Unimpressed by Foster the People

12/13/2011 4:28 PM |

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In a clever turn, SPIN (who loves Fucked Up, by the way) bypassed the well-informed, discerning music critic to cover Z100’s annual holiday pop-glitztacular Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden this weekend in favor of someone more in line with the show’s target audience: a 13-year-old girl named Grace Robins-Somerville. Her review is worth a read.

“I first learned about Z100’s Jingle Ball three years ago when I was 10 and, finally, this year I got to go. Mostly, I enjoyed it,” she begins, setting off a rundown of the night’s pros and cons. On Hot Chelle Rae’s remixed version of their hit “Tonight Tonight:” “It was all right, but nothing special. I think they sound better on the radio than they do live.” A note on Foster the People’s decision to rework “Pumped Up Kicks” into a techno-dance track: “[It] completely ruined a great song.” On Kelly Clarkson, who “is definitely making a comeback:” “When she sang ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ with Demi Lovato, honestly, it was terrible. Their voices just do not work together. It wasn’t boring, it was just bad.” And about those cannons erupting in red confetti during Lady Gaga’s finale: “We were basically drowning in it and I spent the rest of the night pulling it out of my hair. I think they went a little over the top with that one, but Gaga always goes over the top.”

Ol’ Grace tells it like it is, a testament that kids these days are perfectly capable of wading through the B.S. that whatever commercial/YouTube video/Kardashian sister/high-powered label exec is force-feeding them as something they should like. They know what’s up.*

*Which might make my job worthless. Frick.