5 Better, Equally Self-Promotional Names for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s Daughter

01/09/2012 2:50 PM |

Beyonce and Jay-Zs new mashup album child, Blue Ivy Carter (artists rendering).

  • Beyonce and Jay-Z’s new mashup album child, Blue Ivy Carter (artist’s rendering).

By now you’ve heard a zillion times that Beyonce and Jay-Z’s new baby girl is not named Brooklyn, or Sophie, or any of the other awesome names we suggested, but, weirdly, Blue Ivy Carter. If you’re as confused by their choice of name as I was, you’ll be glad to know that there’s a totally reasonable explanation: she’s named after her parents’ album titles!

So says the Post:

The child was reportedly named for her dad’s album, “Blueprint” and her mom’s favorite number [and the title of her most recent album], 4—represented by the Roman numeral IV, or “Ivy.”

While we’re not shocked that the same parents who inconvenienced an entire maternity ward and rented an entire hospital floor—which they outfitted with their own curtains, blacked-out windows and bulletproof glass—would go and name their daughter after things available on iTunes, we are surprised that they didn’t combine their discography more creatively.

And so, while the ink on the birth certificate is still fresh, we’d like to suggest five combinations of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s album titles that would be better names for a person.

Dangerous Doubt “DD” Carter (Reasonable Doubt + Dangerously in Love): This one, a combination of both parents’ solo debuts, is our favorite.

Sasha Dynasty Carter (I Am… Sasha Fierce + The Dynasty: Roc La Familia): Combined, these two incredibly uneven albums’ titles make for a pretty awesome name.

Destiny Kingdom Carter (Destiny Fulfilled + Kingdom Come): Appropriately prophetic, but if this kid didn’t turn out to be the next Willow Smith everybody would be really disappointed.

Love Gift Carter (The Blueprint 2: The Gift & The Curse + Dangerously in Love): Awww… Because she’s a gift of love, get it? (Also because Blueprint 2 is way underrated.)

Throne Carter IV (Watch the Throne + 4): Never mind that Throne Carter I through III never existed, this is the perfect name for the progeny of pop music royalty.

Check out Blue Ivy Carter’s first guest appearance on one of her father’s songs, “Glory,” which Jay dropped today. It’s full of name puns.

Follow Benjamin Sutton on Twitter @LMagArt

One Comment

  • I have no personal interest in these people, but it seems to me that their commandeering of the maternity ward is a more honest and provocative gesture than giving birth in a gallery….just sayin’..