Good News! You’re Probably Not Going to Die From a Sex Heart Attack

01/20/2012 11:23 AM |

Probably this person is not getting it on right now.

  • Probably this person is not getting it on right now.

The American Heart Association, in its “first science-based recommendations on the subject,” which hopefully doesn’t mean they were previously just making shit up, says that sex only slightly raises the chance of a heart attack, even for survivors of heart attacks or people with other heart conditions.

If you’re healthy enough to walk up two flights of stairs without chest pain or gasping for breath, you can have a love life.

But before you go back to banging your assistant, confident in the knowledge you’re not going to clutch your chest mid-thrust and topple over naked, exposing yourself in your most vulnerable state to all of the hard-boiled cops and medical examiners who will make fun of your bare ass, be aware of this:

Who’s most at risk for sudden death related to sex? Married men having affairs, often with younger women in unfamiliar settings. Those circumstances can add to stress that may increase the risks, evidence from a handful of studies suggests.

I know that sounds more like something made up by an 80s screenwriter who needs a darkly funny set-up for a wacky comedy that also has lots of boobs in it than a “science-based recommendation,” but then again I don’t work for the American Heart Association so what do I know?

One Comment

  • If by “made up by an 80s screenwriter” you mean “actually happened to Nelson Rockefeller,” then yes. Wacky comedy with lots of nudity? Tell that to poor Megan Marshak.