“You think Occupy Wall Street was a big deal? Wait until you see Occupy Tampon.” It’s good to have you back, 2 Broke Girls. Last night’s episode, “And the Secret Ingredient,” was not only a structural mess—it began with Max and Caroline going to see Chestnut the Horse, then Han raising the price of tampons in the diner, then Caroline going coupon crazy, then back to the horse, or something—it was positively stuffed with bad jokes, most of them about menstruation.
#5. “Remember Aunt Flo? That was my aunt.”
Taking this line apart, it doesn’t actually mean anything. Earl’s implying that he’s so old…how old is he? He’s so old that his mom’s sister had the world’s first period, I think? Just because it sounds clever doesn’t mean it is, Michael Patrick King.
#4. “I figured out the best way to go see Chestnut. We take the J train to the 4, the 4 to Grand Central, change trains to Riverdale, then walk three blocks to the fancy new stable.”
“Sounds exotic. Do I need a travel shot?”
Yes, it’s really rough up there, all the way up in Riverdale, what with it being one of the most expensive locations in all of New York. I mean, have you seen Woody Allen’s Husbands and Wives? Total DEATH TRAP in the middle of nowhere.
#3. “Shame is overrated, like Ke$ha.”
Oh good, that’s what 2012 needed: Ke$ha jokes.
#2. “Look out Han Lee, I’m about to get my tamp on.”
You’re about to get your Transitional Assistance Management Program on?
#1. “I have Ponzi DNA.” “Yeah, cou-ponzi DNA.”
That might just be a new low for the show. They really went for broke with that joke. The other possibility for the worst line of the evening: “Start pulling out the [coupons] for a cake mix. It’ll be a breeze.” *WIND BLOWS COUPONS AWAY* “No, that was a breeze.” Or maybe: “You may think your secret ingredient is a spoonful of Pillsbury, but it’s not; it’s you.” It’s going to be a good (re: TERRIBLE) year.