Yesterday afternoon, the Internet gave us “Shady Love,” a new single from the Scissor Sisters featuring 20-year-old Harlem-based rapper Azealia Banks. Reactions have been overwhelmingly positive: Stereogum called it “huge,” Maura over at the Voice has already suggested that it’s “The First Great Pop Song of 2012,” and the Guardian finds it positively “thrilling.” The thing, though, is that it’s actually terrible!
Or maybe it’s not, I don’t know. I’m growing super tired of this thing everyone (on the internet) does where they state their opinion as if it were indisputable fact, so I will simply say that the seemingly across-the-board appeal of this song remains largely a mystery to me. It’s built on a totally run-of-the-mill electro/house instrumental track, and theoretically brought to life by Jake Shears’ rapping, which I guess is purposefully sort of stiff and nerdy, with rhymes about nip-slips and, oh god, boobies. In a way, he’s playing on the same field as Ke$ha, only with much worse jokes. Then the hook, sung by Banks, is of the predictably self-serious variety, with the dramatic delivery and over-the-top production that immediately causes me to roll my eyes. Also, it’s too long. The video, which everyone also seems to really like, is below.