Jay-Z and Beyonce’s daughter’s name, which we’ve been obsessing over for many months, is now trademarked! On January 26 the pop music royals filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to protect the name “Blue Ivy Carter” for future merchandising and licensing opportunities like diaper bags, baby carriages, and other sensible things. But as Blue Ivy Carter™ grows up, we look forward to buying other items with her name on them…
Blueprint Paper: Given that her father has three albums titled Blueprint, we’re sure the world’s most ballerific architects will be eager to draft their new designs on Blue Ivy Carter Blueprint Paper.
Champagne: Remember her father’s feud with Cristal? Jay’s since been boycotting the perennial provider of high-end bubbly, and he’s probably dying for a new champagne brand to name-drop in his raps—let it come from the Blue Ivy Carter Reserve.
Yachts: The “Big Pimpin” video takes place, for the most part, on a huge yacht. With some crafty photoshopping, we couldn’t think of a better ad for the new 200-foot Blue Ivy Carter Yacht.
Paint: Jay-Z has his own color, Jay-Z Blue™, and who better to sell cans of it—as well as the slightly softer Beyonce Blue—than Blue Ivy Carter Paints?
Survival Kits: Beyonce’s a survivor, so the advertising jingle for the Blue Ivy Carter Survivor Kit is already finished.
Incidentally, have you watched the “Niggas in Paris” music video yet? This shit cray.
Follow Benjamin Sutton on Twitter @LMagArt