Park Slope Babeland Will Deliver Your Dildo By Bike Messenger

02/02/2012 11:00 AM |

This is what happens when you image search sex bike.
  • This is what happens when you image search “sex bike.”

Dreams do come true! If your dreams are very specific, and a little bit odd. Still, it’s nice to to know that in a sex toy emergency you have options.

The door-to-door of service works like this: whoopie-makers can scope out items online, then call Babeland to place an order. A receptionist at the shop, which is located on Bergen Street near Flatbush Avenue, then assigns the delivery to a cyclist at the forward-thinking bike messenger company, Clementine Courier. A pedal-grinder then drops a “discreet-looking box” at any address in Brooklyn, usually in less than an hour.

What are the most commonly-ordered items? Hitachi magic wands, lube, and condoms. A $30 delivery fee (!) seems a bit steep just for a lube refill, but hey, who am I to make anyone put pants on? Except hopefully when they answer the door. The whole head-peeking-around-the-door-while-body-isn’t-visible is fine for skimpy pjs but doesn’t cut it for full nudity, I don’t think.

In any case, there’s free delivery on Valentine’s Day, if you’d like to surprise your date with a strap-on delivery, or whatever.

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