Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest has started a new program to appeal to the youth and get them excited about wearing condoms. Which is awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I love safer sex, I love condoms, I love Planned Parenthood. But I find even regular Foursquare kind of creepy and annoying—I lack some important social networking gene—so I really don’t know if I can handle their Where Did You Wear It? campaign.
The idea is that they are handing out condoms with QR codes on them, so after you use the condom (or before! or during!) you scan the code to check in, and it makes a map of all the places people are wrapping it up in your area. You can also check in on the computer manually, which please tell me there is nobody out there typing in the address where they just fucked so it can be on a map on the internet. It also asks your partner’s gender and age. But “don’t worry,” the website assures us, they, “generate a location close by in the neighborhood so your special spot stays secret.” Which, good, because I don’t want any riff-raff showing up at my condom-strewn sex grotto. Invitation-only!
Anyway, if this gets Washingtonians psyched to use condom, perfect. Mission accomplished. But I am begging you, please do not bring this here. I seriously do not need to see the sex check-ins of my neighbors. The analog “sex check-ins” of condoms and lube packets strewn all around Prospect Park is really more than enough.