The Semen In Cupcakes Story You Shouldn’t Read But Will Read Anyway

05/23/2012 11:06 AM |

cupcake.jpg
  • Butter, frosting, and romance

Listen, stop pretending we don’t all involuntarily click on every story about human parts in food. I still can’t stop thinking about this fingertip in an Arby’s story from last week. Anyway, so apparently some kid baked jizz into a cupcake, then gave it to another student. Who ate it.

A 16-year-old student was suspended after allegedly giving a classmate a cupcake laced with his semen, Minneapolis City Pages reports.

St. Paul police spokesman Sgt. Paul Paulos told the Pioneer Press the boy gave cupcakes to “quite a few people” on May 9, but “only one supposedly had semen.” Unfortunately, the unlucky classmate ingested the baked good, so authorities are unable to confirm the allegations. [Huffington Post]

As the HuffPo piece points out, it “harkens back” to that dude who fed his unsuspecting students jizz cookies. And also this spit in a burger story, the guy from high school who claimed he jizzed in people’s milkshakes at McDonalds, and every urban legend ever.

If you’ve caught yourself thinking that adding semen to food might be a great way to get a little cheap protein in your diet, please allow me to remind you that this continues to exist: Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes. If life gives you semen, make semenade, I guess.