Public Bathrooms Will Soon Be Even Harder To Find In New York

08/21/2012 12:12 PM |

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  • Vivienne Gucwa

You know all those times you’ve been out and about running errands, or out and about while blackout drunk, frantically in search of a place to pee before it’s too late and the unthinkable happens?

That’s about to happen a lot more often.

Thanks to new legislation signed by Mayor Bloomberg, small restaurants with a 30 person or lower occupancy will now only be required to have one bathroom for each gender on-site, as opposed to the previous requirement of two each.

The legislation also tightens up codes allowing places with 20 seats or fewer to provide no bathrooms at all, and does nothing to mitigate the labyrinth of arcane city codes that allow businesses not to provide this most basic of human necessities.

So how are we going to face this? Well, since you can’t find a Starbucks all the time, below is a starter list of alternative locations:

-Empty subway Platforms

-Empty subway cars

-The offices and/or desks of your least favorite coworkers

-Playgrounds

-Chain store dressing rooms

-The McCarren Pool

Go get ‘em, tigers!