As anyone who spends a lot of time on the internet knows by now, Daily Beast political blogger and columnist Andrew Sullivan had a really rough week. Why? Because he moved to New York, and lord knows that’s never easy.
In an angst-ridden post entitled “New York Shitty,” Sullivan bemoaned everything from the pace to the prices to problems with the Daily Beast’s (very fancy and enviable) Chelsea offices. “Just to walk a few blocks requires barging your way through a melee of noise and rudeness and madness,” he wrote, embedding a sad Alicia Keys song for emphasis. Terrible.
Sensible readers immediately advised him to get the fuck out and move to Brooklyn, and we couldn’t agree more. In fact, we agreed so much that we came up with a helpful list of incentives for Sullivan to cross the bridge and turn his life around. You can do it, Andrew! People here aren’t square like in D.C., and illegal sublets happen all the time, so no need to worry about your current lease. Jump ship and nestle into our borough’s warm, beer-battered embrace.