But maybe don’t use the company’s new ad campaign as inspiration. It’s a little confusing. Notice that web ad pictured above? Seeing as the traditions of Halloween are sacred, we assume the models featured in it are dressed up as something, but we’re not quite sure what. We have some guesses, though. Going from left to right…
• A Greek goddess
More specifically, Aphroditus, the Greek goddess of burlesque, which explains the tassels.
• A bride at her morning-after photo shoot
• A Park Slope mom*
Still concerned with dressing hip but whose milk makers are sore from nursing for the past 36 months straight.
• Stevie Nicks getting ready for bed
• The tooth fairy, in the mind of a very sexually charged 8-year-old boy
• The ghost of Lana Del Rey
See the crown of flowers in her hair? Lana
loves loved wearing a crown of flowers in her hair.
• A figment of Bill Murray’s imagination
• Lady Gaga
• A Brooklynette
The newest member to the Nets cheerleading squad, also inspired by the 90s cult favorite film, Clueless
• A referee of some sort
Perhaps what the refs at that Packers-Seahawks game were distracted by?
• A zebra
Too busy to pin on a tail and hunt down a headband-ear combo at Duane Reade? This will do!
• A new take on the iconic black and white cookie*
• A spokesperson for the Girls Gone Wild franchise
Maybe carry around some business cards?
The walking memory of a simpler time, when Christina Aguilera sang songs called “Dirrty” and referred to herself as “Xtina.”
• Lady Gaga
• A dismembered mermaid
The poor thing lost her tail in a boating accident.
• Malibu Barbie
Part of Mattel’s “Barbie: The next generation” doll series.
• The girl that pops out of cakes
The remnants of confetti frosting are strategically placed.
• A human ecstasy pill*
• A very bold figure skater
Nancy Kerrigan’s younger, flashier sister who was instilled with a healthy body image at an early age, thanks to big sis Nance.
• An Etsy bedazzling project gone horribly wrong*
• The polluted air particles floating around Williamsburg*
• Lady Gaga
*Contributions from esteemed L Mag/Brooklyn Mag editors Virginia K. Smith and Kristin Iversen, who are much better at jokes than me.
But if you still want, you can follow Lauren Beck on Twitter @heylaurenbeck.