Last night marked the first live TV interview of America’s recently dethroned Master of Sleaze and Skeeve in over 20 years. So that’s what that special feeling in the air was while walking home from work. Here I thought it was the crisp fall air. To promote Guns N’ Roses upcoming 12-night residency at, of course, the Hard Rock in Vegas, we were treated to the deep three-word monologues of frontman Axl Rose in response to Jimmy Kimmel’s tempered questions. It was a good night for America and all that we stand for—corn, burgers, holiday traditions, VHS tapes, sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll—especially when the merits of the democratic voting process were boiled down to “meh.” In case you missed it, CliffsNotes version follows:
1. Axl tends to be late to social engagements and these types of things, but he was right on time to the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live. Can you believe it? Jimmy can’t.
2. Axl hitchhiked to L.A. at the age of 19. It went fairly well.
3. He was once the cool manager at Tower Video on Sunset who hired all his friends and let them drink beer after work. His time there was short-lived. He’s since shrugged it off.
4. He and Izzy made a show flyer for one of their first bands called Rose. “There living fast and they’ll die young!!! See them now!” it proclaims. Those were the good ol’ days of uninhibited grammar rules and loose distinctions between “they’re,” “there” and “their.”