The Worst Valentine’s Day Ever? “Achy Breaky Heart” Night at SoulCycle

02/05/2013 2:48 PM |

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Now, maybe I’m just being an unnecessary jerk. Maybe this really is a better, healthier, more productive option for a solo Valentine’s Day than the natural alternative, getting drunk with your friends and actually enjoying yourself sitting at home amid a growing nest of tissues, Cathy Comics, and crumpled Dove Promises wrappers. It makes logical sense. Endorphins help you feel good, exercise gives you confidence, etc. etc. And yet, somehow, SoulCycle’s planned 7:30 pm “Achy Breaky Heart” ride on Valentine’s Day sounds to me like the very worst kind of hell.

I guess it’s just sour grapes because this event at the Noho location isn’t nearly as saucy and bohemian-sounding as the “Moulin Rouge Ride” happening the same night up on 83rd street, even though the Upper East Side is so far away to go all by myself! That, and the fact the company is actually offering an alternative of Couples Date Night Rides, but only in places like Greenwich and Scarsdale.

So, even if you’re not sad, lonely, or just cranky and out of shape, another pleasant reminder that everyone thinks city-dwellers are destined to be alone. Forever.

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.