The 10 Worst Pick-Up Moves of All Time: Political Edition

05/16/2013 3:37 PM |

Its not a tumor. Oh, wait it is. Touch it. TOUCH THE TUMOR. Ahhhhh....terrible.

  • It’s not a tumor. Oh, wait it is. Touch it. TOUCH THE TUMOR. Ahhhhh….terrible.

So, there I was today, minding my own business, getting coffee while on my way to work, when I was basically assaulted by the cover of today’s Daily News, which featured a picture of disgraced politician Vito Lopez and the headline “Feel My Tumor.” Which, what? Gross! What did that even refer to? Oh, that was a pick-up line Lopez used when sexually harassing his employees? Apparently so! The News reports, “Vito Lopez is alleged to have demanded his female aides to rub his tumorous growths.” Whyyyyy would anyone ever say that in an attempt to, like, seduce someone? I don’t know! But then, I am no expert in the art of seduction. However, even I know enough to know that asking someone to TOUCH YOUR TUMOR certainly ranks as one of the worst pick-up lines of all time. But you know what? Politicians are actually full of terrible pick-up lines, so I figured why not round up the absolute worst. And these aren’t all just pick-up lines. No, some of these are pick-up tactics, the subtle moves (like tweeting dick-pics) that are the mating calls of a very specific type of person. Not all terrible pick-up lines or pick-up moves are created equal, however. Some of these are part of consensual relationships and some of these are straight up sexual harassment. But all of them share one thing in common. They are totally repellent and sort of prove that politicians are absolutely the worst people on earth. Even worse than writers! Much worse.