Recently, a good friend of mine called me in hysterics, crying out, “I didn’t get my period this month.”
“Is that unusual?” I asked in my best nurse-practitioner voice.
“Yes. I’m on the pill.”
“Oh, fuck, then. Shit. Sorry!”
“Yeah,” she said in a small voice.
“Did you have sex this month?” I asked hoping for good math.
“Lacy, I live with my boyfriend, having sex is like brushing our teeth at this point.”
“Well, you gotta take a test then.”
She started to cry.
“Babe, it’s going to be okay. Is Tim there? Does he know?”
“No, he’s away on tour. I don’t want to say anything to him until I’m absolutely sure.”
“I totally understand. If you want me to buy one for you and come over I will.”
“Lace, the thing is, I’ve never even taken a pregnancy test before.”
“Wait a minute, you’ve never peed on a stick before? You’re 27-years-old! How did it take this long?”
“I don’t know. I just haven’t.”
“Well, welcome to being a woman.”