There Are Some Instagram Accounts I'm Worried About

09/04/2013 11:01 AM |

shavaunna getting some beers. C/o Instagram user shavaunna.
  • “shavaunna” getting some beers. C/o Instagram user shavaunna.

So, I’m sure you’ve noticed that Facebook’s really amped up their personalized ad placements. They’re all over your feed. And I’m sure you’ve noticed two kinds of ads: the ads that were teleported from your adolesence (Get A Six-Pack In Less Than Six Weeks!), and the kind that really have nothing to do with you. Case in point: McDonald’s. McDonald’s social media presence has been astounding lately. It’s scary how sneaky their ads are. It takes me a second to realize I’m not looking at a friend’s photo, but McDonald’s Instagram account.

I’m worried about McDonald’s Instagram. Because they’re a corporation who sell food like this, but also post pictures like this. I know this is McDonald’s using Instagram’s filters to dress up and distort the reality of their otherwise unappetizing food, and I can’t help but feel like it’s a huge joke. But it’s not, I know McDonald’s is trying to make themselves look “cool” (Evidence here).

I’m concerned, perhaps unnecessarily. So, I thought I would look at some “real” joke Instagram accounts, and it only got worse. Yes, I did laugh at some of these Instagrams, but it was both a genuine laugh and one of nervous fear.

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The first one, while not a self-aware joke, very well should be one. It’s the good old TSA. I don’t know why they’ve removed all of their ‘grams, but they’ve apparently been ‘gramming since June. You can see a slideshow of some confiscated items at this HuffPo post here. Cool filter choices, man.

There’s also shavaunna, which is a collection of severed Barbie doll heads doing things like playing Madlibs, playing the piano, and going on dates. It’s creepy, morbid, and uncomfortably amusing. And isn’t your typical meme.

Like cashcats. While adorable, it’s a little old. Though I would not want to fuck with this feline.

And then, there’s itssteviewonder. I don’t know how to feel about this one, for obvious reasons. How many times can you crack Stevie-Wonder-is-blind jokes until it’s offensive? Oh, right…

I should preface this next account with the full disclosure that I will a) defend mid-90’s fratboy humor (like Billy Madison and Tommy Boy) to the ends of the earth, and b) this has, unfortunately, indelibly marked my sense of humor. I embarrassingly submit to you: ThatLooksLikeaDick. Oprah, Spider-Man, and children’s clothing are all in danger of looking like a dick.

Do I have a theory about what this all means? Not really. But I do feel compelled to say: Cool it, dudes.

Follow Ryan Chang on twitter @avantbored.