Thursday, May 31, 2012
How Much of a Brooklyn Foodie Are You?
Posted on Thu, May 31, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Which of the following have you consumed in the last year?
A) Cold, unsalted Goya chickpeas, straight from the can.
B) Taco Bell leftovers you found in the back of the fridge, of uncertain provenance.
C) Anything from the Bedford Avenue Subway (the food chain, not the mass transit system).
D) “Mexican” food at an “Irish” pub.
E) None of the above.
Which of the following have you consumed in the last six months?
A) Edward III New York absinthe at Maison Premiere.
B) Meat with a name and a backstory.
C) Ramps, morels or asparagus foraged by someone you know personally.
D) The Specken Wolf.
E) None of the above.
An izakaya is:
A) A small, fast, irritatingly loud Japanese motorbike.
B
C) An awesome kind of Japanese tavern that serves small plates and cold, cold beer.
D) A ritualized, incantatory sex act designed to call forth a smoke demon, as seen on Game of Thrones.
Kale salad is:
A) An awful idea, why would you even say that?
B) Really wonderfully done at Battersby in Boerum Hill.
C) Really wonderfully done in my kitchen, with kale grown in my backyard.
D) So over. The new hotness is salad burnet, grown right here in the cuffs of my Dunderdons.
Talde is:
A) That little bendy Spanish accent that makes the “nyah” sound.
B) Dale Talde’s eponymous and awesome drunk-food restaurant.
C) A chef’s term for water just before it reaches boiling point.
D) Iman’s nickname for David Bowie.
Place the following in order of food miles (beginning with the locavoriest) in early June:
A) Tomatoes
B) Strawberries
C) Broccoli
D) Avocadoes
Place the following beers in order of alcohol by volume:
A) Sixpoint’s Mad Scientist #9: Cacao Husk Stout
B) Kelso Industrial Pale Ale
C) Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout
D) Schmaltz Coney Island Lager
Which of the following are the correct ingredients for a “Brooklyn” cocktail?
A) Amaretto, Irish Crème, bitters, lemon rind.
B) A can of Piels steeped with crusts from Totonno’s served in a closed fist.
C) Rye, vermouth, a dash of Amer Picon, a dash of maraschino liqueur.
D) One part Red Hook Winery’s Brusco, two parts local seltzer.
Match the following ingredients with their seasonal availability:
| A) Ramps | Spring and Fall |
| B) Brussels sprouts | May-November |
| C) KALE! | September-November |
| D) Porcini Mushrooms | September-October |
| E) Bibb lettuce | March-June |
Which of the following has not> appeared on the cover of Edible Brooklyn?
A) A giant gourd entering the New York City subway system.
B) Gavin McInnes shoving a Bhut Jolokia Ghost Pepper up his ass.
C) A saltshaker tattoo on a bare forearm.
D) Marty Markowitz, obviously.
Which of the following has yet to receive the artisanal “Brooklyn” treatment?
A) Peanut butter
B) Popsicles
C) Mayonnaise
D) Cream cheese
It is illegal in Brooklyn to:
A) Serve fresh, unpasteurized milk.
B) Grow medical marijuana.
C) Slaughter chickens in your backyard.
D) Make moonshine.
Totonno’s is to Grimaldi’s as:
A) Coke is to Pepsi.
B) The Yankees are to The Mets.
C) Burt Reynolds is to Dom DeLuise.
D) Apple is to Microsoft.
E) None of the above, we’ve always sucked at these kinds of questions.
Which of these restaurants does not have a Michelin star?
A) Blue Ribbon
B) Dressler
C) Chef’s Table
D) Saul
1. (A -1 point, B -2, C -3, D -2, E +1)
2. (A +1 point, B +2, C +3, D +1, E -1)
3. (C +2 points)
4. (A -1, B +1, C +2, D +3)
5. (B +2)
6. (B, A, C, D +2)
7. (B, A, D, C +3)
8. (B, C, A, D, +4)
9. (C, but we really want to try B now. +2)
10. (A March-June, B September-November, C September-October, D spring and fall, E May-November, +1 for each correct answer)
11. (B, +1)
12. (A, 1 point)
13. (A +1, B +1, C +1, D -3)
14. (E, +1)
15. (A, +1)
Why do you even live here? Stop eating cardboard.
10-14:
It’s not pretentious to enjoy your food. Why not head to the greenmarket?
15-19:
You’re ready to grow in a windowbox. Do it.
20-25:
Can we borrow your homemade bitters recipe?
26-30:
You should have your own show on the Food Network: The Brooklyn Food Genius
