There aren't a lot of things everyone can agree on in this world, but if there's one, it's that New Year's Eve is the single biggest party night of the year. Even little kids who just get sparkling cider, a slightly later bedtime, and maybe some junk food believe this to be true.
Ipso facto, New Year's Day is the single biggest hangover day of the year. A day, then, when it's essential not to just be nice to yourself, but to every single person with whom you come into social contact. It's like that Plato quote you see on bumper stickers and re-usable grocery bags about being kind "because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle," or something. A crushing hangover is no reason to forget your manners, after all. Here are a few key ways to still be a decent person tomorrow, no matter how much you brutalize yourself tonight.
Tip him, and tip him so well. He's basically saving your life, if you think about it, and for all you know, he's also hungover and still just working and making the world a better place. Pay it forward.
Oh, how fancy, you got it together to leave the house sometime before 3 p.m. Congratulations. Now, you're stuck in line and realize how bad your case of the spins really is. Don't take it out on everyone else who's in exactly the same boat and for the love of god just wants to sit down in a warm place and eat some greasy carbohydrates. Bring a coffee and vitamin water for the wait, and calm yourself.
This is partly a self-care issue — starting a juice cleanse the morning after is not actually a great idea, as some of us have learned the hard way — but also, no one wants to hear it today. No one at all. If you put off your stupid spin class one day, I promise you will not be fatter for it by the time next New Year's Eve rolls around.
Nothing too loud or violent or in any way gory, but ugh, nothing too cerebral, either. No one needs that extra headache factor. Pick something animated, or that you've seen a million times, or maybe just fall back on old episodes of Arrested Development. Inflicting anything harsher on yourself and whoever you're watching with is just terrible.
So, you made yourself pancakes and/or a joint and/or a pitcher of bloody mary to take the edge off? Or just remembered to stock up on Ibuprofen? Good thinking. Now share it with your roommates, your spouse, your weird across-the-hall neighbor, or anyone else in the vicinity who seems like they need it. Consider it your first good deed of 2013.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.