Yesterday, Kristin explored the newly-discovered health benefits of meat, and some of the best places in Brooklyn where one can eat said healthy meat. It was great, and all the food looked really tasty. Maybe even healthy! But, as a sometimes-vegetarian ("flexitarian," per Wikipedia's horrible terminology) and sometimes-skeptic in the merits of scientific studies, I took exception.
Is red meat really that good for the body, for the soul? And also, what about all the delicious fake versions that are out there? Have you even tried those little Morningstar Farms fake breakfast sausage things? Even before I sort of stopped eating meat, those were the food of the gods. The point is, Brooklyn doesn't belong solely to carnivores. Or even to gentle, full-on vegans! It also belongs to those of us who are content eating faux versions of the same stuff everyone else is eating. Here are the best places in Brooklyn to do it.
Indisputably the king of all fake meat-eries. They have vegan versions of just about every diner food out there (egg sandwiches, Philly cheesesteak, chicken cordon bleu, buffalo wings, the list is long), surprisingly impressive milkshakes, and some of the best fries I've eaten, ever. The greatest, always.
295 Grand Street
At locations in both Williamsburg and Cobble hill, this place serves spot-on vegan renditions of "pan-Asian" staples we know and love, like General Tso's. Slightly more expensive than the average corner Chinese place, but isn't it worth it not to have killed anything? Aaaah!
112 Smith Street, Cobble Hill; 212 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
So, if you're serious enough that you viscerally hate being around meat-eating, this probably isn't the place for you. But when you think about how much a chicken and waffles place really didn't need to bother making a vegetarian version of their signature dish (the fake fried chicken here is seitan-based), it's pretty cool that they did, and that it's good. Go eat it.
164 Bedford Ave.
Similar to Wild Ginger, but in Prospect Heights, and frequented by our very own Henry Stewart. " I was drunk when I went there," he says. "It was dark and empty and delicious and romantic." A rave review if ever there was.
One of the few places you can get vegan pizza with actual fake meat on it, and not just sad piles of spinach, sauce, and daiya cheese. L Magazine staffer-slash-vegan Deirdre Hering highly recommends the ham wheels.
148 Bedford Ave, Williamsburg; 253 Nassau Ave, Greenpoint
This place is in Ridgewood, so technically, it has to count for Queens. But. But! They deliver to Bushwick. And their chicken nuggets are amazing. And, you know, guilt-free, if "guilt" is your stated reason for avoiding meat. Just eat them.
64-19 Fresh Pond Rd.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.