Listen, we didn't start any of this. If anyone had consulted us prior, we'd have told them that gratuitous, pun-titled franken-desserts are a waste of the public's time when there are so many pre-existing desserts in this world that could stand to be improved upon. Hopefully, though, we can end it.
With news yesterday that in addition to bacon-infused cronut spinoffs, there's now a "crookie" on the market, it's clear what has to happen. We have to artificially speed up the news cycle by brainstorming every possible (or at least like 5) croissant-infused dessert hybrid that could possibly hit the already-over-saturated market, and put this whole thing to bed.