- That's a lot of trophies.
Everyone loves real-estate porn. For a few reasons, really. Obviously, we all love getting to look inside other people's homes and see how they really live. Or, at least, see how they want us to think that they really live, which can be just as revealing in its own way. The point is, we're all voyeurs. And then, of course, we also like to judge other people for how they live. And who is more fun to judge than obscenely wealthy people? No one. So when the Wall Street Journal picked an almost $5 million Clinton Hill home for it's "House of the Day" feature, I was super excited to see what decadence lay inside.
I mean, $5 million is a lot of money. What kind of crazy features lurked behind the perfectly respectable, mansard roofed exterior of this Vanderbilt Avenue converted carriage house? Was there an indoor pool, complete with a water slide? Was everything gold-plated? Even the refrigerator? Were the walls papered in hundred-dollar bills? DID THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WASHER AND DRYER? I couldn't wait to see.
- c/o wsj.com
- Where's the waterslide?
And then, I saw. And I was underwhelmed. I feel almost bad for saying that, because I know this is a real house where real people live (namely, "Michael Bunton, 44, and Gail Anderson Bunton, 40" a "proprietary trader and a second-grade teacher at a local public elementary school" and their two sons) and it's not like I would turn down living in this 6,500 square foot mansion, but, well, is this it? Is this what a $5 million house is supposed to look like? I understand that it's sparely furnished in order to sell it, but even so, that bathroom? It doesn't have a water slide. It looks kind of like the locker rooms at a run-of-the-mill spa. You can practically hear Enya playing.
- c/o wsj.com
- What's going on with that TV?
And what is going on with that super-old television near the pool table? Couldn't they even get a flat-screen? Is that maybe the secret to all these really expensive Brooklyn houses? Once people actually pay for the houses, they can't afford to furnish them with anything more than old TVs and youth basketball championship trophies. I guess this is just further proof of what we all knew already. Brooklyn real estate is completely fucked.
Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen