Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Brooklyn Baby Stroller Power Rankings

Posted By on Tue, Mar 19, 2013 at 11:50 AM

Brooklyn baby strollers
Like learning to swim by getting shoved into the deep end, my parents taught me to walk by refusing to take me anywhere unless I followed them. Just kidding! Every once in a while I got to ride along in the wheelbarrow. But these kids today have strollers that are nicer than my apartment. Here's what terrible people are saying about terrible people: "To some women, the stroller is almost a fashion accessory, which is more about the brand, color and fabric choices... New Yorkers are sophisticated, so there are plenty of men who think similarly, but most men tend to care more about a stroller’s utility and performance.”

Here's a breakdown of the most popular pushchairs in the breedier neighborhoods.

Sarah Jessica Parker UPPAbaby stroller celebrity
  • Celebrities! They're just like other celebrities!
UPPAbaby, which sounds like what my Scandinavian family says when they rise from a seated position, recently outpaced its closest rival to become the top pram in Brooklyn, DNAinfo reports. It has good wheels for a neighborhood like Park Slope, where there are cracks in the sidewalk, a carriage salesperson told the website. (Ol' cracky Park Slope, we called it as kids.) Plus, it's totally affordable: only $459-$729, which is about what I make in a year. [photo]

Hobgoblin Spider-Man
This is the company recently outdone by UPPAbaby. Do you know what the dictionary definition of "bugaboo" is? "A cause of obsessive fear, irritation, or loathing." Is this some company founded by hipsters, playing a prank on yuppies who didn't get it, and now it's a legit company because it started making mad bank? But wait, what's the archaic root definition of bugaboo? "An imaginary being invoked to frighten children, typically a sort of hobgoblin supposed to devour them." Haha! No wonder this isn't selling anymore! "Honey, let me strap you into this hobgoblin." One mom told DNAinfo it's great for walking. "“When I see mud, I’m like, 'no problem.'" You go, girl! Did you know one celebrity gave a Bugaboo stroller to another celebrity when that second celebrity had a baby? Wow!

Blinding headlights
Other strollers
Oh God, there are like a million other kinds of popular strollers. The Zen CMYK "sports a first-of-its-kind solar lighting system that allows you to shine a light beam or flash hazards for added safety," DNAinfo reports. That's ridiculous. I'm not writing about strollers anymore. [photo]

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About The Author

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart

Henry Stewart is the Culture Editor at The L Magazine and Brooklyn Magazine. He has always lived in Brooklyn.

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