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1) The G-train Sprint: exercise in speed
You know when you are giving someone directions to your new apartment and you assure them that it's right near a subway station but then they ask you WHAT subway line and you have to whisper, The G-train.
Well, if you know that feeling, you also know the feeling of hearing a train approaching the station and hurriedly swiping your Metrocard only to realize that it's the G pulling in, not the F, and you're going to have to HAUL ASS in order to make it halfway down the platform in order to jump aboard this four-car motherfucker.
Prompt disqualification for those who appeal to the humanity of conductors by shouting and gasping, "Please! Please!"
That NEVER works in real life.
Bonus points for those who don't spill entire cups of coffee down the front of their shirts.