Oh, wait! Not really.
But that didn't stop the Daily News from splashing the headline "Hell on Wheels" on their front page today.
Not much to write about, Daily News?
The News decided to address the menace of speeding cyclists in Central Park by sending some guys with what I believe are called "fast bike speed detectors" to patrol the park for cycling scofflaws.
What did they find?
Well, as it turns out, "in a mere 35 minutes late Wednesday afternoon, Daily News reporters armed with speed guns caught 16 cyclists breaking the 25 mph speed limit. One was clocked at 30 mph."
You guys! Bikes were going as much as 5 MILES PER HOUR over the speed limit. Well, one bike was. The rest were going about 2 or 3 miles over the speed limit.
And while there have been horrible accidents involving cyclists and pedestrians in Prospect Park, the fact is that pedestrian/cyclist accidents have actually decreased in the last three years. Really! Gothamist has a great chart to prove it. And what's also cool about that chart is that it shows that even though the number of cyclists has risen substantially, the actual number of injurious accidents are down. That's a great statistic!
You know what else is a great statistic about safety?
The one that says that, while there are only 41 bike-caused accidents a month, 293 cyclists are run down by cars in that same time period! And did you know that 270 people are killed by cars in the city each year? Now you know.
I wonder if cars ever speed as much as five miles over the limit the way those crazy cyclists do in the park?
Nah, probably not.
Thanks for bringing these "psycho cyclists" to my attention, Daily News!
Now, what are you going to write about tomorrow?
Good luck with that.
Follow Kristin Iversen on twitter @kmiversen