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7. Develop a drinking game based on the verbal ticks of the hometown broadcasters, in this case, Nets play-by-play man Ian Eagle (The Bird!) and analyst Jim Spanarkel (The Spaniel?). As a newbie, this will make every game feel like a party!
8. If you really want to be a hardcore Nets fan, crack open your laptop and watch the game along with fellow online Nets Heads (this is a thing, right?). We recommend NetsDaily.com, BECAUSE THERE AIN'T NO SOURCE LIKE A CROWD SOURCE. Right?
9. If you're going to do this, if you're really, truly going to commit to being a Nets fan, you can no longer be one of those smug asshole people who takes every possible opportunity to boast, "Oh, I don't even have a television!" Get a fucking television. The biggest, flattest, most awesome one you can afford, and enjoy the shit out of it.
10. Invite a few friends over to watch games with you, making sure to include a few who don't know anything about basketball. Spread your knowledge around in hopes of making a few converts and ultimately living a less lonely, more meaningful life. And if the people around you don't know when you're totally full of shit, well then that's even better.
11. If you have plans on a gamenight, don't panic. Just set your DVR to record it. (If you're buying a big new television, you should splurge for the DVR package with Time Warner or Fios or whatever provider you choose.) Watch the game when you get home, and while you should thoroughly enjoy being able to fast-forward through commercials and halftime, you should also fight the urge to watch all future games on a delay. No matter how hard you try, you will inevitably find out who won, and your night will be ruined.