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23. This is a potentially controversial bit of advice, but we think it's important: Are you really the kind of person who can pull off wearing a basketball jersey? We are going to go ahead and suggest that you probably are not, since you're presumably neither a professional basketball player nor a child. There's something sad about adults wearing clothes with another adult's name on the back, isn't there? Pass on the jersey.
24. Opt for a hat or a t-shirt, or even both. But be careful about wearing them at the same time. By which we mean that you should never wear them at the same time.
25. Unless it's the playoffs. Almost anything goes during the playoffs. Fuck, if they make the playoffs, you can go get yourself a jersey if you want.
26. (You don't want to, though, right? Because wearing a shirt with another man's name on the back is sort of sad?)
27. This isn't some dopey college game, so you can forget all about the facepaint.
28. We just remembered that the Nets' colors are black and white—another fine, fine reason you should leave the facepaint at home. Whatever your race, this will probably wind up being in super poor taste.
29. Never leave the game early, even if it's a rout. Just don't.
30. When the game ends and you do leave, head over to Pacific Standard on Fourth Avenue at St. Marks. They have ample seating and a great selection of beers, nearly all of which are $6 or less.