No, you have to at least have something going on, and in our infinite wisdom, we've come up with a few hassle-free, Brooklyn-themed options, complete with visual aid. We promise you won't have to set foot inside a party supply store. We don't promise that you won't have to explain your costume to a few people. This is the price you pay for convenience.
This one's pretty much up to your own discretion — as long as you have a wide-brimmed hat and some kind of beard you're good to go. Ghost makeup is optional and strictly extra credit. If anyone questions you, just tell them you're vast and contain multitudes or whatever.
Now that the old — haunted? — Domino Sugar Factory is officially in the stewardship of the developer behind the Wythe Hotel (and pretty much all of DUMBO), its former owners are presumably resting comfortably with their $185 million buyout. Stick a dollar sign on the label from a Domino box, then stick that somewhere on your person. Trust us, this will make you seem like you know about real estate.
Slap on a beanie (or pacifier) and grab a beer stein, you're good to go.
There are two ways you can go with this Brooklyn classic. Either cut some stairs out of cardboard and strap them to your stomach, or, you know, wear brown and get stoned. Up to you.
Fuck actual team merch. That stuff's expensive! Put a net on yourself and stay in Brooklyn for the night. Done.
All you really need for this one is a bottle of wine, bloodshot eyes (a quick soap rinse should do it), and a palpable air of desperation.
Bottle of wine, bloodshot eyes, and a palpable air of fatigued belligerence.
Paint a hook red and pull your sleeve over your hand.
Oh, was the Red Hook costume too cerebral for you? Sorry about that. Fashion some green paper into a cone and go as Greenpoint. Pot leaf hair optional.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.