No one boosts Brooklyn in quite the same fervent, weird way as Marty Markowitz, and this week, our borough president is trying to steal a planned pro-soccer stadium in Queens and move it to Brooklyn instead. "I know Queens is pushing for a stadium, but I believe pro soccer belongs here in Brooklyn," adding, "Soccer is the number 1 sport in the world, so why shouldn't we have a team here in Brooklyn?"
A spokesman for Major League Soccer told the Post that the organization remains "100 percent focused on bringing pro soccer to Queens," but given Markowitz's track record — he's played a part in luring both the Nets and the Islanders our way — we may still have a shot at getting our very own Brooklyn soccer team. But why should we stop there? Brooklyn is only growing, and as such, so is our collective demand for recreation and entertainment. Let's wildly speculate about what other sports we can add to our little menagerie.
Curling has been sort of a punchline in America for years on account of its name (and use of silly looking brooms), but really, we've had it all wrong. Jonny Diamond, our Editor-in-Chief and resident Canadian makes it seem pretty great: "The sound of a curling rink is like a bunch of giants mixing drinks." Which is appropriate, since curling revolves pretty heavily around drinking. So enticing, and so much lower key than hockey! Between that, the encouragement that players wear plaid (tartan, to be specific), and the low baseline skill level required to participate, this seems like a total shoo-in.
Responding to Markowitz's public attempt to poach this hypothetical soccer stadium from Queens, Councilman Peter Vallone Jr. griped, "So what's next, the Mets?" We could do better. Specifically, we could try to poach the Dodgers back from L.A. Isn't it about time? Seems unlikely, but still, shoot for the moon, land among the stars, etc. And in the meantime we still like the Cyclones.
A couple of years ago the Times wrote about the East Coast's intense jousting community, and we're still sort of waiting for it to take off in a serious way. Isn't it time we reclaimed this, the most esoteric and old-timey of sports, from the LARPers of the world and made it our own? I'm sure there's a way to do it without actual spears, if anyone's worried about dying or anything.
It's a known fact that the powers that be don't plow the streets here as well as they do in Manhattan come the wintry mix season. So, we may as well do some competitive dog sledding. Also, everyone loves dogs, and tickets to Alaska for the original version are way too expensive.
Listen, there's a reason this wacky little British event gets so much press every year. It's fun, looks cool in pictures, and the winner gets cheese. Easy. And yeah, there are an unlimited number of jokes you can make about yuppies or foodies or whatever, but if you look on the bright side, what that really means is that even sedentary armchair critics get to participate in their own way. And aren't competitive sports the most fun when everyone's a winner? Aww, you guys.
Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.