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Again, a profession where things aren't necessarily as bad as you'd think — in the last year the overall unemployment rate for bartenders dropped from 10.2% to 7.2%. Still, that's worse than writers (and only slightly better than musicians, 8% of whom are out of a job), and we think you can do something more societally productive with your time. Namely, work in animal control. In 2011 25% of those people were unemployed, and now only 4.1% of them can't find work, so something potentially scary but lucrative must be going on here. Your lame patrons can go ahead and handle the obvious jokes about your knowledge of dealing with "animals" as a bartender (ugh), but while we're on the subject, working with creatures that can't talk sounds pretty ok, right?