So, now that the flu season has kicked off and everyone is busy dying of it and the government has declared that it's an actual epidemic, I've decided to start taking the whole thing seriously. How, you ask? By getting the flu shot? Well, no. I don't have time to go get a flu shot. Besides, basically everyone I work with is already sick with the flu and so I figure if I'm going to catch it, I'm going to catch it. Will I die from it? Probably not. But what are some good way to get through almost-dying from it? I'm glad you asked.
I've already been thinking about doing a juice cleanse. Not to get healthy, but to lose a dramatic amount of weight by just shitting myself all day. I think that's how juice cleanses work? But also, juices have lots of vitamins that might prevent me from dying. So, probably, if I were dying of the plague, I'd drink juice. Where would I get it? Well, I've been meaning to check out this new place, The Juice Pedaler, which is sort of near where I live and is also a bike shop. It's a thought anyway. A semi-feverish thought. It also involves renting a bike and riding around Prospect Park, spreading disease on the Brooklyn winds. It's not really fleshed-out yet. We'll see.
Fact: Alcohol kills germs.
Here's a recipe, courtesy of Virginia Smith:
Mix all those things up. Drink. Feel better.
Get a Flu Shot
Well, this isn't something to do after you're already dying of the flu. Do this before. Do this NOW. Or just go to the doctor after already having the flu. Except, don't. Because doctors are always unsympathetic. They don't really care about you. Never date a doctor. They also always have screwed up kids.
Go See the Amy Fisher Triple Feature at Videology
Called "Triple Fisher" this screening is "a mash-up of the three Amy Fisher made for TV movies from the 90s!" Going to see this will TOTALLY make you feel ok about dying because you don't want to live in the same world as Amy Fisher, you just don't. Embrace the darkness.
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