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So, I mentioned earlier that I'm kind of afraid of rabies. Here's the thing. There is a 100% fatality rate for rabies. You can't get more deadly than that. And it's a truly horrible death, one where the most humane solution would be to put the rabies sufferer out of his or her misery and just move on. But doctors can't do that. So they strap patients down and sedate them as they linger and die, foaming at the mouth. Of course, rabies is incredibly rare in the US. But bats have it. And apparently YOU CAN GET BITTEN BY A SMALL BAT AND NEVER EVEN FEEL IT. Then, boom. A few weeks later and you're all terribly foamy and repelled by the sight of water and maybe you even have chapped lips and you're wildly sexually voracious and soon you're dead. Now, you might be like "Hold up. I don't want to die, but I do like sex. What's the deal with that?"
Well, I'll tell you. The deal is terrible. It's a terrible deal. In the book “Rabid: A Cultural History of the World’s Most Diabolical Virus” by Bill Wasik and Monica Murphy, you will find out that the death throes of rabies "can cause sustained erections, and on rare occasions, frequent and uncontrollable ejaculations in human males." What a way to go. I get really scared that I've unknowingly contracted rabies whenever I spend any time at all in nature. This is why I live in Brooklyn and almost never leave my apartment.